Guilded Lily on GameCareerGuide.com

I was invited by an editor at GameCareerGuide.com to expand on my previous post Game School Dropout: Whining 101 for publication on their website.  I put together some of the thoughts I was planning on posting further about on the GL blog, combined with a re-worked version of my original post, and it is up today. 

You can read the full article HERE.  Feel free to leave comments, I am interested to hear your thoughts.

Comments

[Jeff McArthur]

Very good article, I liked your points. I'm young and mail but I didn't feel like getting into Game School when I saw the pace they go at. Right now I'm trying to learn things on my own and start an indy studio in my free time with other like-minded friends.

Don't give up on your dreams, if you want to create inovative games than find some others like you and start working on something in your free time. I'm sure you can make something great!

[Shawn]

Interesting, I'd been following your blog up to the point that you were entering the Masters program. I've been in an undergrad school doing a similar thing Online no less and found many of the same things after 3 years of attending - imagine teaching yourself modeling and rigging from a book but having to pay 2k per class to have someone grade it and critique it without offering any real "teaching" - and then trying to compete with people who made it through the Boot Camp life with physical instructors on hand to help them out..

I moderated a panel at a writer's convention last weekend and the irony was when I introduced myself on the "Writing for Interactive Media" panel I ended with "I'm a Game Design student who hopes never to work int he industry because I'm finding I'm just too darned old."

Needless to say that elicited quite a few laughs among the panel members, some of whom were game writers or authors like myself considering making the jump into the industry.

I've covered game development and the industry for nearly 7 years and I can't find anyone who can justify the Crunch mode paradigm in development - when compared with most professional software development it's actually a joke - sure they have milestone critical delivery times, but crunch is managed far differently.

Thanks for "coming back" to the blogosphere. I enjoy your perspective a great deal. I think you may be right though - the best talent will either flee or migrate to Independent design because of the industry's current work-life balance issues.

[James]

I hate to say this, but if you're going back to studying on the other side of 40, then you're going to be in for a rude surprise no matter what subject you're doing.

My Mum found this out when she decided to go to college again a few years back, and while I am very proud of her, it took a while to get used to how much work she had to do in the evenings after classes. It's not unusual for her to have her nose stuck in her books until well past midnight!

I know the games industry has a bad rep for long working hours and everything, and I've lived through some pretty hellish deadlines; but I somehow get the feeling that this has nothing to do with your issues. Re-training yourself involves a lot of commitment and it sounds like you were expecting it just to be a breeze in the park, without any real effort involved.

I know this sounds harsh, and in your own mind might justify the "young male geeks only" image you have of the industry. But what else are we to think....your article is full of opinion but lacking in real detail as to the amount of work you were required to do.

[Brandon J. Van Every]

Have to say, I think overwork in college isn't just games, but
engineering in general. I know that part of the reason I was an
Anthropology major rather than a Computer Science major at Cornell U. is because the latter were way overworked. I got similar reports from friends of mine about "weed out" courses at North Carolina State
University, which is known for its engineering program, so I don't
think it's just Cornell.

And of course, the engineering courses were male dominant. I certainly didn't mind having some gender balance in my major, although I was a big nerd and it didn't help my dating cause any.

[anthony antfactor]

I, too, would like to break into the gaming industry. I've sort of begun to do so, but in drips and drabs through music and sound design. Suffice to say I found your article sobering for various reasons. Every time I've looked at these 'gaming schools' something has left me cold about the curricula. I'm determined to make my own path. My latest (nano-project) was background audio for Jay Is Games Flash Games Contests, #2, 3, & 4, and I've done audio work on a few other gaming projects as well. I'm looking to network with other game developers to work with. Keep at your dream - there's more ways then ever to break into this industry and I think it will continue to expand.

I think your Alchemy Notebook project is really beautiful, btw.

[A Robinson]

I went to architecture school 3 decades ago and made it through a washout program. I made it by rearranging the schedule. I took classes in other subject areas, had more fun and got a minor in another subject. The architecture department strongly influenced us not to take outside classes, but it was the best thing for me. It took me 6 1/2 yrs instead of the 5 yrs a professional Architecture degree takes.

Most of my fellow students dropped out (25 of 250 graduated). The experience definitely took a physical, mental and emotional toll on everyone including me, and I wouldn't do it again. I did learn a lot, and the design concepts I internalized have definitely influenced my professional life.

You can make college work for you. Following the mainstream path is not the only way.

[Mark]

Stellar article; a lot of your points really rang true with my experience. I studied for eight months--two semesters--at Carnegie Mellon's ETC, and although no one got crew cuts and there were a healthy number of women (although no one over 40), the degree to which the workload took over my life was exactly the same as you describe. One thing that I think contributed was that we were studying in a foreign country that wasn't terribly friendly to Americans, and since we were all from the US it tended to make us band together and do everything as a 15-person unit. But in retrospect, it would have been incredibly difficult if we'd had one or more people who made perfectly reasonable demands about personal time and time away from school; we actually had problems sort of like that with one individual who spent a fair portion of his time in school (gasp!) trying to get a job. He did get a job, but along the way he suffered a certain amount of ostracism and subtle disapproval from the rest of us: he wasn't pulling his weight, he was putting himself first...he wasn't on-board with the rest of us. And this was our opinion because he was pursuing a job! (At least it was certainly mine; I can only claim extenuating circumstances because of sleep deprevation, and also because I'm an asshole.) But that's another aspect of the "boot camp" mentality you mention (we actually called our first semester "boot camp"): everyone gets on the same page mentally, and people with different opinions and/or work patterns are punished severely, as I'm sure you found. This is not fair, nor is it healthy, and really, now that I *am* working in the games industry, it's not much of a reflecion of working reality. I work for an enlightened company in an enlightened country, but the hours are much more in line with those of other professions. It definitely isn't a 9-5, but I'm working under 50 hours a week most weeks. It's a vast improvement over the 100 or so I pushed every single week at the ETC. I can imagine that one of the most disspiriting things about the school would be the sense that because this school was responding to the demands of industry, not only was the school experience bad, but you'd have years of similarly bad experiences to look forward to. I'm here to tell you that isn't at all the case, at least for me.

But I think your points about this being an industry that encourages a nerd-boy circularity and a lack of genuine innovation are spot-on. With one exception, every single one of my co-workers at a 60-person company is male. Probably 90% are 35 or younger. It leads to a consistently inside-the-box mentality. It's maddening, and it's very bad for games that my company is not at all unusual. The only good news is that I think that the locker-room sensibilities of the games industry has to change. As games get increasingly mainstream--15 years ago this site could not have existed, and 15 years from now I'm betting it'll be redundant; EVERYONE will be gaming--the target audiences, the business models, and the industry as a whole will shift to be as all-encompassing as possible...and that means that the workplaces will become both more humane and more diverse. It may prove to happen too late for your career--although I encourage you to keep working at breaking in, this is an awesome industry that you can get into through a TON of different means, and it's nowhere near as back-breaking as your school experiece might lead you to believe--but the times, they are a-changin'. Anyway, thanks again for such an awesome article, and best of luck in your future endeavors!

[manda liet]

There are many "ism" problems in the video game industry. It's a very young industry, and makes all sorts of mistakes. Don't let the game schools be totally representative though, no two studios are the same and it might just be a matter of finding one that has an environment that works better for you. At least, that's what I tell myself :P As you said, independent studios might be a better fit, and have more respect for creativity and experience.

[tekanji]

FYI, I blogged my thoughts on your experience here:
http://designblog.theirisnetwork.org/archives/6

[Patty]

As a 38-year old woman who has worked in the game industry, I was interested in reading your article because I wanted to find out how you felt the men were holding the women back in the industry. I expected to read your first-hand accounts. I expected to see specific examples that would make me nod my head in agreement.

But instead, you just came off as another whiny woman, adding to the plethora of complaint-ridden voices already existing in the blogosphere.

"The lingering and nagging thing about this for me is that this type of education and employment favors the young and (dare I say it?) the male."

I would have loved to hear you whine less and explain more about why you think it's a male-dominiated industry. You complained a lot but didn't really give any other examples of how the men affected your learning process other than to mention that they got haircuts. (Which I still don't see as affecting your progress, but hey, you did say in the very beginning of your article that you were "developing a mighty strong opinion on the matter in spite of the facts.")

Besides the clear-cut fact that more men than women work in the industry, I don't see a conspiracy at work to keep women out. It's hard for ANYONE to break into the game industry, not just women. And yes, there are long hours, but that's not exclusive to the game industry. I can remember working long hours right before a launch, but I also remember WANTING to be there. I loved it. It was my passion.

You won't make it in the game industry -- that's for sure. But it's not because you're a woman.

You won't make it for two reasons: 1) You are unwilling to stick it through a tough course long enough to learn what you need to learn to do your job and 2) you clearly don't LOVE video games. If you did, you wouldn't have cared what the men in your class were doing. You would have done the work and you probably would have enjoyed staying up until 3am learning new things.

Maybe that's what's holding most women back in the industry--maybe most women don't have what the "nerds" you referred to obviously do: a PASSION for gaming.

[Guildhall Student]

I was a fellow classmate of Lily's before she dropped out. Honestly, yes... the school is hard and only the devoted will make it. But because of the schools system, although I don't agree with it 100%, it is still better then any other I've seen, and the 95% hire rate says it all. If anything I'm sticking through it just to pretty much guarentee myself a job (although I could probably get one regardless). But if you can't make it through this school then you won't make it in the industry, thats just how it is and how the industry is. It was good for Lily to find this out early tho. We're now into our 4th term (half way through) and term 1 was a breeze compared to the work we are doing now and did in term 3. And age really has little to do with it. Sure, it'd be hard with a family (lucky for me i'm between relationships, one of the other main reasons i went ahead and came to the Guildhall). I never took any pre-grad college, its been 12 years since I graduated from High School, and I'm still passing top of my class. It just takes a love, commitment, and talent to be in this industry. Its much like Music or Acting, honestly. You have to do lots of hard work to be discovered and only the best talent will make it and get the good jobs. There are some who are still here that have no talent and are just barely passing and dragging through the program and honestly if they get a job at all, then they'll be lucky and it will be bottom pickings.

[Hélder Maurício Gomes Ferreira Filho]

I am myself a game design student...

Yes, the school expect us to be young and male, and unemployed too...

From the 300 or 400 students that exist in the university where I am over all the course, only 4 are girls, 4 young girl, 17 or 18 years old, and another 4 are old, old is, two with 28 years old, and two around 35...

The speed, pace and work is insane, I sleep 4 hours a week, I now take bath only when needed, I do not play anything anymore, I eat only crappy food (IE: coca-cola + anything easy to eat that have cheese or sausage) and still I do not done a good amount of projects that the deadline was about 2 weeks ago...

But after so much time trying to get ANY sort of job, I concluded, that is best to stay in my case, here on Brazil (where I live), noone hire people without degree, noone hire people younger than 25 years old, noone hire people that never worked before, and noone hire people over 32 years old...

And when I look at Gamasutra job listing, always the first thing I see is: bachelor degree mandatory... 2 year of experience or 2 AAA games also mandatory, 10 AAA games a must...

[tekanji]

Guildhall Student said:
"But if you can't make it through this school then you won't make it in the industry, thats just how it is and how the industry is."

Based on what evidence? What studies? What experiences of people in the industry? What companies were these people working for?

If you're going to make a claim as sweeping as that, you'd better be ready to back it up especially when there is a personal testimony that clearly states the contrary only a few comments above yours, as well as another example that I cite in my linked blog post.

I'm also more than happy to go to my other friends in the industry and ask them to describe their work environments and how they experience crunch time if that would help.

Guildhall Student said:
"I never took any pre-grad college, its been 12 years since I graduated from High School, and I'm still passing top of my class. It just takes a love, commitment, and talent to be in this industry."

You already said that you're single and without a family, and I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you're male, too. What's your financial situation? Do you have enough funds to pay your way comfortably through school, or are you working to make ends meet (or alternatively worrying if you'll have enough money to finish out your entire two years)?

It's really easy to be committed to something when you have the luxury of focusing on it, but much harder when you have pesky things like, you know, family and money that take your time. And, while the stereotype might be of the programming nerd who can only get a date with the girls in a video game, the truth is that there are both men and women in the industry and many of them have families, too. There are workplaces that cater to this and workplaces that do not.

It's not fair, or reasonable, to question a person's commitment simply because their situation did not allow for the same amount of devotion to the school as yours does. You are *lucky* to be able to be able to focus on school as much as you say you are.

But that's the point exactly. What GL is getting at is that it shouldn't be things like age or economic circumstances or whatever that determines one's success in the program (which is what a "boot camp" style teaching method encourages, in my opinion), but rather one's creativity and ability to learn the material presented. If the program weeds out people who aren't lucky enough to be able to spend 100+ hours a week on school, that isn't a true test of "love, commitment, and talent" but rather of one's ability (both of circumstance and of personality) to struggle through abusive and unrealistic circumstances.

[tekanji]

And here's a follow-up post on some of the issues I was talking about in the above comment:
http://designblog.theirisnetwork.org/archives/8

[Thom Robertson]

GRRR!! I'm totally on your side, Lisa. As a game industry vet, and a 41yo male, I've seen more than enough to support your assertion that the industry 1) is sexist (and racist and age discriminatory, too), and 2) engenders a hacker-boy ethic, which excludes anyone not a young male.

If people believe that it's just merit-based, and you simply can't hack it, then they don't have the experience I have. I've personally seen:

- management holding critical meetings at strip clubs

- male-dominated offices with bikini posters on the walls and porn wallpaper on the desktops

- Locker-room humor, drawn and written on whiteboards throughout the shop

- female dev team members teased about their sexuality.

Is anyone aware that Dona Bailey, who created CENTIPEDE, was so scarred by her sexual harassment that she left the industry and didn't return IN ANY WAY for 25 years?

And that the original Sims team was 50% female, which is the only reason children were designed into the game?

And these game development schools are just giving the industry what it says it wants.

Grrr!

So yes, find your own path as an Indie developer. The big boys and the schools that feed them are actively hostile to people like yourself, so if you want to create games, you have to do it for yourself.

Or sue the crap out of 'em for age and sex discrimination. My wife (a lawyer) sez it should be easy to do.

Or perhaps create a consortium of female devs, a dev group that can really come up with something new and exciting.

Chart your own course, and don't let this terrible system get you down.